Category: Financial Services
Business: Mortgage Financing
Item: 8.5" x 5.5" Postcard, full color

PrimeNet Critique

1. Headline.This tells us that the mortgage broker gets return business, but it is not really an offer. It's more about him than about the prospect. The offer would be stronger if he announced a new mortgage program or special rates.
2. Gold seal. These graphic devices draw attention, but in this case it is wasted. "Now is a great time to buy" is too generic and what everybody in the housing business says.
3. List. This appears to be a list of past customers or friends. A mortgage broker should model lists, perhaps to neighbors of recently sold homes. Often when a houses sells, some neighbors start thinking about selling theirs.
4. Copy. The copy could play off the modeled list. Perhaps the cards are sent to neighbors of a home recently financed by this person. Then the copy could say, "I just arranged a mortgage for one of your neighbors! I know about your home values, neighborhood and recent financing programs that would benefit you."